10 Reasons to not like the Alterum Uno

Well, the film is done, minus (how many times do I say that?) the stumptown scene's sound. I have all the music in- sorry, Sticky, that music you sent me was pretty awesome, but I already finished with that stuff.. it doesn't really fit =/ --, I finished the credits, even. It's amazing.

But, with this newfound completeness comes a great and horrible realization: the movie sucks.

Now, of course, I've said this before, but always secretly hoping I was wrong and I was just missing a key part of it. But it's done, I wasn't, and I didn't. And here's why.

1. It distinctly lacks a beginning, middle, and end. Well, it distinctly lacks three discernible acts. The beginning is (spoilers, I suppose, so I'll black it out.. highlight to read.) Hairy waking up, going down the street, and finding Rom at the burger joint. The plot point is, iirc, Grant-monkey going crazy again. The middle is stumptown and stuff leading to the plot point of the pirates are attacking frogsnorts. The resolution is the epic duel at the end. That all works fine. But, the first plot point should create a story, and a story it lacks. I mean, you can piece something together, but.... well..
2. It lacks the post-productional humor the first one had (exempli gratia, "later parietis", id est, "e.g, 'brick wall'... boy do I like latin).
3. No scene rolling during the credits, which makes them extraordinarily boring (I wasted the funny parts on Alterum Moments.. =/)
4. No sense of direction (due to a lack of an appointed director)
5. No lighting. The first one lacked this too, but the lights inside the house kinda made up for it a little. This time...
6. It was all filmed outside. Well, I mean, that's fine, it's just, after awhile, the white balance the grande outdoors give gets boring. ACTUALLY, I just remembered Stumptown. Not filmed outside. Amazing. Still... It's like how ROTS was filmed entirely on a soundstage: crazy.
7. My deteriorating camera produced a horrible audio track. Seriously, I was there and it's still hard to understand what they're saying.
8. No Jamezy.
9. No Brendy.
10. Yes Timmy.

Reasons to like the Alterum Uno

1. Use of a tripod. Yay?

-Timmy